I Believe

I never thought that I would see the day that I finally believed in God again, but that day came today.
To get confirmed for CCD, I was required to go to a retreat today. We had one last year that wasn't that bad, but it didn't affect me. I wasn't looking forward to going to eleven o'clock mass, then spending the whole day listening to people talk about something that didn't exist until 5:30 when I could finally go home. Then, a guy walked to the front of the room and explained everything we were going to be doing, and it seemed fun, but I wasn't convinced it would be fun. He made everyone laugh and he was really funny, and he knew how to keep our attention. He told stories that were really intense, like this one about a kid who never fit in, and then in eighth grade, he hung himself after getting beat up on the bus. Then he asked how we treat the people we love, and what we would say if our dad walked in right then telling us we had to leave, because our mother died...what was going through my mind was ridiculous. Right then I started crying, and he kept going...teling us why Catholics are really in the faith that has the full truth about it, and it all finally made sense. Before I never understood how we were here, why we were here, or why Cathocism made sense. He asked if any of us knew anyone who had seriously considered suicide, and if we ever hated God because someone we loved died. I raised my hand for both of those questions and by that time I was crying and starting to believe. I looked around and a lot of people were crying like me, and all the people who, like me, at the beginning of the retreat said they didn't believe in God, were beginning to have faith.
I wondered why this retreat got to me so much, and then I remembered a week before, before I even knew the retreat was today, I was thinking how much I wished I could have strength to believe in something I couldn't see. I strongly believe the retreat was today and it made me believe in God and Jesus because of God himself. He caused it. And I'm glad.